I am a mass murderer

5 10 2007

… of fish.

I mean, not only do I kill fish either at a lake or in the ocean when I want to eat them (i.e., when I go fishing), but I kill them within my home as well.

You ask, “Why would you kill fish in your own home, Marc?”

My answer, “Because I hate them!”

Here’s what I do: I go to Petsmart, buy three or four fish, and take them home to my 10 gallon, (apparently) poisonous tank.

“Why,” you ask?

My goal in life is to kill off all of Petsmart’s tropical fish population, three at a time, once a week.

You ask, “If you want to kill off Petsmart’s fish population, why not buy more at a time? And why even bother bringing them home and putting them in your (apparently) poisonous tank?”

My answer, “That’s too expensive. I have to strike small. ” And to the second question, “I’m not that smart.”

But you’ve gotta admit, it’s a pretty good strategy, killing these fish three at a time. I make the Petsmart people “think” that I actually want to buy and keep their fish. I even bring a sample of my water, and I even go to the extent of asking why my fish keep dying (suckers). The strategy works perfectly because they tell me that my water is perfect for keeping fish, and that they don’t know why my fish are dying. Little do they know I have planted an undetectable poison in my tank to kill off their precious fish. And they actually sell them to me!

Die guppies. DIE!!!!!!

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